Monday, January 31, 2005

Where I tried and failed...

The sorrow.

The agony.

Woe ist unto me.

The wailing of women and the gnashing of teeth.

Turmoil and civil strife.


What did I fail at?

Can you handle the truth gentle reader?





Here goes. While baking a cake, do not forget to add the eggs.


Saturday, January 15, 2005

Where I was lost...

Not in the philosophical, soul searching sense of the word. More in the "Where the fuck am I?" sense of the word.

Now the details.

Circa January second 2005. Well, no circa, exactly on January second 2005, our intrepid hero (me) decided to return to State College from the wilds of New Jersey (also known as Newark). By Greyhound. Bad idea. (Note to self: next time drive back).

The bus arrives an hour late, and as I enter I hear the driver apologizing to the passengers exiting (debussing?), for the tour of the city. I would later find out what that would mean.
The journey starts of normally enough and I drowse off. I wake up an hour later and we still are not on the freeway. I decide to display mild, drowsy surprise which makes me look like I have been drinking steadily for a few hours.

Our villain (the bus driver) now pulls into a gas station and gets down to ask directions. Not a smart move. For two reasons. The first being that it was Newark, and the second being that the mob (the other passengers) were rapidly becoming very, very restive. Imagine a mob of peasants circa 1692 in Salem, only more violent and bloodthirsty. Baying for blood.

The driver returns and proceeds to get further lost. The mob is now rapidly losing patience, sounds of knives being sharpened and teeth being gnashed can be heard in the fuzzy darkness. Another half hour passes by. Finally, a lady loses her patience and being a native Newarker, begins to shout out directions to the hapless driver. And amazingly we reach I-80 in no time at all.

End of story.

And what was our intrepid hero doing? Laughing his ass off, much to the ire of the rather strait laced dude sitting next to him.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

No title really...

Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Where I shift from the minutiae...


This portion of the blog has been deleted.

The author(me) on subsequent reflection decided that this was a puerile bit of rambling, not fit for human consumption.

----------------------------------End of Edit---------------------------
Sidebar. Was In NYC for the New Year. Called up the guys on the way to NJ. I must remember not to call up when they are in a group. Tried to get to Times Square but was shut out. Did not get drunk. Had a pretty decent time with two people who I always thought were a bit scary.

Um...For some reason I find this to be hilarious.