It’s Monday morning and that has darkened my normally sunny disposition. I feel the overwhelming urge to growl at people and bite somebody’s head off. Unfortunately everyone here outranks me, so that might not be such a good career move.
I would restrict myself to thinking evil thoughts…Except that lately I have begun to worry that little bubbles appear above my head to let people know what I’m actually thinking…And what I’m usually thinking is immoral if not downright illegal. (Mmm…Supermodels, handcuffs and butter. Lots of butter.)
Snarling at my screen does not work. People think that I have a bad digestive problem that I’m trying to suppress.
I’m trying to practice my irritating smirk, but without an audience I cannot seem to pull it off. Instead of the caustic amusement in other’s failings that it usually conveys, all it does right now is look dopey and mildly nauseated. That is disappointing. I’ve invested a lot of time and effort into that smirk. It usually lets people know that I think that they are behaving like idiots and that their actions amuse me.
Sidebar: Do not practice an irritating smirk while you are working out. You might just have to frantically practice some fancy footwork to avoid that weight that you just dropped. The frantic footwork does much to negate the implied superiority and contempt that the smirk is trying to convey.
Another Sidebar: If you hear a “pop-creak” sound while you are working out, it probably isn’t a good sign.
Yes, I’m putting off starting on my code. Java, that wondrous creation, holds little fascination for me on a Monday morning. Monday mornings should be spent quietly lamenting the passing of another Sunday, quietly hoping for the arrival of another Friday, and quietly communicating with your inner axe murderer.
My inner axe murderer said, “GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK.” (Unfortunately I used the word “Fucking” as an adjective denoting strong emotion and not in the literal sense. "Get Fucking Back to work" is a better construct, but then the point of these brackets is lost. I suppose the Axe Murderer could have said "Get Back to Work", but I felt the need for gratuitous obscenity. That’s a contradiction. None of my obscenities are gratuitous, but are little gems that are greater than the sum of their parts).
1 comment:
"normally sunny disposition"??
I wonder how that looked like. :P
For you Mondays are a problem.
For me, all days are a problem.
Think about that and get back to your "sunny disposition". :)
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