0.25 > 1

I live in twisted universe. Here, the rules of physics and science and the fancy strings that hold the universe together are on permanent hiatus. Getting drunk and stoned and thoroughly embarrassing the more sober patrons of …um wherever they are. Up is Down, Down is Blue and Green is hung over and wondering who that mime in bed with it is.

So, to sum things up, the universe around me is fucked up.

Now you may wonder why I have come to this conclusion. It’s quite possible that you aren’t wondering. Well, then in the words of the talking hamster, “Go jump off a cliff”. Actually what the hamster said was nothing so PG, and prominently featured the words fuck, telephone pole and an anatomically improbable manouver that might even be illegal.

Must concentrate. Focus on the general fucked-upness of the universe.

When is 0.25 greater than one?

The answer is when the 0.25 is a quarter and I need to do my laundry at the washing machine in my basement that accepts only quarters. And as expected I do not have any quarters and the supermarket around the corner does not have any quarters and the Laundromat next to the supermarket has decided to shut down early. Just because I need the quarters. At that point standing in the rain (Oh it started raining when I reached the supermarket), I would have gladly traded each dollar bill in my wallet for a quarter. Not four quarters, or three or two but one. Just a lone, solitary quarter. (Slight change in tense and many grammatical errors. Be nice and ignore them.)

(In my best 8th standard voice, emulating the second Kid (A subtle dig there, my friend)) Hence, from the previous paragraph, we have proven that when the universe is seriously fucked up, and trust me the universe is seriously fucked up, 0.25>1.

On what some people would call a happier note, two extremely attractive women moved into the apartment below mine. On what I would call a much, much sadder note, my lease ends in five days and I will be moving out of this apartment. Shoot me now. Aim for the head. Make it quick.

And this is creepy. Turn on your speakers. Enjoy. Or not. I don't care. I still need a couple of quarters.