Look Ma, no hands!

Everybody loves having speakers stuffed in their ears at all times. While I do encourage my roommates to use headphones to prevent their atrocious taste in music from contaminating me I do not understand the need some people have to stuff those uncomfortable devices in their ears at all the time. Everywhere I look there are these cyborgs roaming about completely disconnected from the world around them. I can only hope that they get run over by a car whose frantic honking was drowned by whatever crap it was that they were listening to.

And now, everybody’s using hands free kits with their cell phones. I do not like them. Not just because I find it strange that people feel the need to have speakers stuffed in their ears every second of the day. Yes, they might be convenient and crap, and maybe drivers do not drive into trees when they’re using them. But they have had one unfortunate side effect. You cannot tell who the crazy people are any more.

There used to be a time when you could look at a person carrying on an enthusiastic conversation with…well with nobody and say to yourself, “That person clearly is not sound of mind. I should perhaps cross the street and pretend to examine that fascinating wall.” But those halcyon days are gone forever. Now a person talking to himself could just be talking to customer service or to a client or to the purple voice in his head that is telling him that sautéed human is yummy. (The purple voice, not the fuchsia one, because everyone knows that axe murderers always hear purple voices. The fuchsia voice is the one that tells you that you need to write a blog about the purple voice.)

So for pity’s sake make the hand free-kits larger or have glowing lights on them or something…so that I can separate the sociopaths from the sheep.

One problem. What if the friendly neighborhood psychopath is talking to the purple voice using his hands-free kit?

EDIT: A new record, this post got comment spammed in less than thirteen seconds. I feel so special.

EDIT EDIT: It's one in the morning and I'm in a Beatles mood.