My word!

“Are those the pants you’re wearing to your first job interview?”
My uncle Joe (former Marine, newspaperman, sharp dresser) clearly disapproved.
“Just a minute,” he said. He left the room, reappeared shortly with a pair of these. “Served me well in the Corps. Never got a gig.”
A gig?
“A demerit. Passed every inspection with the Gunny. He could spot an Irish pennant a mile away.”
Irish pennant?
“Wear the pants, John.”
No-Gig Pants (No. 1599). Trim-cut legs. Precise buttonflap [sic] rear pockets and vertical side-seam pockets. Full dresspants [sic] construction. Threeseason [sic] weight, non-scratchy wool that holds a crisp crease. Save a trip to the Quantico PX.
Men’s even sizes: 32 through 46. Hemming (max: 37”) or cuffing (max: 34”), add $2 per pair.
Color: Marine Corps Green.
Price: $148.
Go here for that...

Literary party at a London townhouse. South American Nobel laureate and two Booker Prize winners in attendance.
Good thing there are no sharp knives on the hors d’oeuvre trays.
I step out into the private garden during a discussion of magic realism. She’s already there, inspecting peonies in the twilight.
Our conversation is of merciful inconsequence. The latest Tate show, our favorite cheese shops.
I like the one on Moxon Street, she says.
Gaslights flicker on, making her velvet dress glow.
I like that one too, I say. I like it very much.
Belgravia Dress (No. 1590). Lush, glowing rayon/silk cut velvet, lined in pure silk. Wraps down from V-neck to asymmetrical tie-closure at waist, continues to low-calf length. Flattering princess seams.
For special occasions, parties, romantic dinners, assignations in the garden (with the right planting, in the right light, you and the garden merge). Price: $248.
Sizes: 4 through 16. Color: Crimson and Green floral on rich Taupe.
... and go here for that.

All from the J.Peterman catalog. Apparently Elaine's boss from Seinfeld is not wholly fictional. The mind boggles.