Where I am mobile and connected...

Well I finally caved in. Bought myself a cell phone. Well that happened on the 26th and it finally was delivered the day before yesterday.
I wasted an entire day waiting for the UPS dude to turn up. I could have been doing something productive.

Like...

Um...

You know...

You get my drift. Something productive.

Anyway. The phone turned up. I put the battery in the wrong way so naturally it did not work. I panicked (Yes, gentle reader I really am a Computer Science Grad Student.). So I called up the customer service at Amazon, AT&T and Motorola. It was during my second call to Amazon that I realized what I had done. The phone worked fine right after the battery went in the right way.

Incidentally Amazon has already dispatched a replacement phone.

So, I have a cell phone. It's very pretty. It doubles up as a camera. It has an address book and a calculator.

I then realize that there really is no one I want to talk to. So I called up my land line from the cell phone. And then my cell phone from the land line. And well, that was about it.

Oh yes, I did synchronize it with MSN and Yahoo messengers.

Well, I finally crumbled. I have joined the mindless masses and I have a cell phone. I'll have to switch it off in theaters and airplanes. I'll have to plug it in every night and remember to take it with me in the morning.

Ah, the joys of modern technology.

Last Word: Do not work out in the gym in a bad mood. You will hurt yourself.

Really Last Word: That was just to let you know, o gentle reader that I do work out.

Absolutely Last Word: Chilli, I apologize. I just could not come up with the kind of blog we discussed.

Final Last Word: It is life's little ironies that make death such a popular alternative.

That's it...

Really...

Go...

Um...
Call me at 880 7733.

The cat is at the Democratic National Convention in Boston.

Where my foot is again in my mouth

Um...

I seem to have this amazing knack for pissing people off. I wonder why?

I am a thoughtful, considerate person.

Yes I am.

Really.

Honestly.

Um...Maybe not.

I should make a public apology, so consider this post an apology.

Feel free gentle reader, to be angry with me for being so cryptic.

I look at what I have typed out so far, and I wonder why I seem to dislike paragraphs. I think it is because my posts are a series of disconnected observations with no single unifying theme. The world is a funny place. The world is a sad place. So, at the risk of sounding pompous, this is a funny (I hope) blog, this is a sad(sad as in melancholy, not sad as in badly written) blog.

Chilli described his journey to IIMB from Basaveshwarnagar, (for those not in the know, home for eight years before I left ) so I shall describe my oddessy as I go to the IST building on campus. I leave my apartment and take a left to go to the elevator. I then push the button to get the elevator to my floor. I then get into the elevator and push the button to get to the first floor (It’s the ground floor actually). I then take a right, and another quick right and then a diagonal-ish left to leave the building. I then walk past A building and get into the bus. This involves a right somewhere along the way. I then sleep until we hit IST. And then…

I shall take pity on you, gentle reader, and end this orgy of mind-numbing boredom.

Later…

The cat is in Guatemala.

Where i go "Haha Hahaha ha....hah"

Ahem, ahem. Important news.

Our intrepid hero (that's me) aced the driving test. I now have a license. Head for the hills all ye jay-walking pedestrians, because I will run over you with extreme alacrity and unseemly enthusiasm. That's only if I have a red car. The blood stains show up otherwise.

Another important point. Since I feel the need to be obscure and annoying, I will not tell you, gentle reader, what the point is. Suffice to say that I have decided to rectify matters. I will be referring to tutorials and making notes and if I feel like it, inspirational PowerPoint slides.

PowerPoint slides with crappy fonts and animations that go whoosh.

Did I mention that I got my drivers license? With a perfect score.

I did mention it?

Well my blog, my rules, my post.

On the subject of my rules, new blog rules.
a) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to touch your nose with your left hand three times.
b) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that I am funny even if I am not.
c) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that being normal is usually being boring.
d) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that F1 sucks.

Rules a through c are negotiable. Rule d is not.

Actually on second thoughts, neither are rules a through c.

I ramble on and on. I like that. Others might not. But as previously noted, my blog my rules.

I should be getting back to work.

So...

To conclude...

Ahem.

Koff koff.

Haha Hahaha ha....hah!

Where I hate parallel parking

I flunked my driver's test today. As the title may have indicated it had to do with parallel parking. I thought I had done it perfectly, but the tester violently disagreed.

So disappointment...

I never have a problem with parallel parking. I nail it each time. But apparently not during the test.

We try again Thursday. So root for me gentle readers.

I'd really like to get drunk right about now. I won't, but I'd like to. Is that good or bad? Wanting to get drunk I mean? Better than needing to get drunk I suppose.

Note to the concerned reader: I might come off sounding like a raging alcoholic but I assure you that I am not one. And to those who disgree, I will throw my beer bottle at you.
Empty beer bottle.

Ah, well that is about it I guess, for the post. Too tired and too full to type anymore.

Where "why, robot"

This will be a mild rant. I may however descend into obscenities and foul language. Proceed with care.

"I, Robot", the book is excellent. A wonderful collection of short stories. A collection of stories with substance, with style, where the robots deal with the conflicts of the three laws and where Susan Calvin is the strong, intelligent woman who became one of Asimov's favorite characters.

"I, Robot", the movie sucks ass. Big time.

End of rant.

Not a very impressive rant I agree, but thats all I have the energy for.

Remember, gentle reader, I told you that I would be all alone in the apartment, and that I would enjoy that. Well, I am all alone in the apartment now, and I find that I do not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Strange is it not?

An apology.

For the misleading title in my previous post. I did mean to compare glasses and contacts. Got a tad diverted and never got around to comparing the two. And I dont feel like doing it now. So my thoughts on that particular topic will remain an eternal mystery.

Where I compare the merits of glasses and contacts...

I have lost control of the blog. At least the blog titles. People snatch the keyboard from me and put in ellipsis(For the more inquisitive among you ellipsis are ...). Yes gentle reader, I am pretty anal.
 
This is the first time I have blogged with an active and participative audience. I refer to the boos from the rear stalls. Or do I refer to the booze from the rear stalls?
 
No I am not drunk.
 
I am quite sure.
 
Notice I do not ramble on and on.
 
I am supposed to blog for someone else. I will be a ghost blogger. I will dress up in a white sheet and blog all over the place.
 
Yessss I continue to amaze myself with my inanity. Or insanity. My audience says "Or both".
 
I moon the audience.
 
So there.
 
Nyah nyah.
 
Nyah Nyah to you too, gentle reader.
 
Um yes I am twenty five years old, not six as I might seem from the previous statements.
 
My audience is pelting me with tomatoes. And bottles of beer.
 
Yay!
 
Dammit! Empty bottles.
 
Well I should bLog off.
 
My audience is a trifle annoying. Think fingernails on a blackboard type annoying.
 
Yesssss, You do know what I mean.
 
Later...
 
The cat says Hi.
 
And Meow!
 
Well just meow. I made up the hi. 

Where I metablog...

Lets get this out of the way. Yes, I do spend way too much time in this corner of the blogverse. Move on will you?

I just noticed the advertisement at the top of this page. It has links to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome stuff and to Tad Williams. And I had mentioned the former and referred to another author in case of the latter.(Analyze the grammar in that previous sentence gentle reader, and tell me if it is as clunky as I think it is.)

That is scary. Considering that I have mentioned the word "fuck", masturbation and F1. Freaky combination. I will refrain from typing what I just thought of. Suffice to say that it involved a prominent German driver using a driving control in an immoral way.

Let me repeat. I dislike F1.
Intensely.

I also dislike Bush Jr.
Intensely.

This is fun. I think I will list my dislikes.

I dislike tiny little towns in central PA.

I dislike the way this post is turning out...

Where everything has changed...

Change is in the air.

A serious argument.

I do believe that this is the first time that I am glad that I am not in Bangalore.

Time to batten down the hatches and weather the storm.

Side effect. I am no longer homesick.

The cat is in rehab and doing very well, thank you.

Where nothing has changed...

Trust me, nothing has changed. Absolutely nothing. However the audience is irked by the lack of anything. They have advised me to make up stuff.

Did I say advised? I meant ordered. Commanded even.

Another requirement is that my posts be short and sweet.

So be it.

I leave by jumping through the window.

Dammit!
Tripped over the cat!

Where I kill time...

A small point to remember, when I observe the foot approaching the mouth I should endeavor to get the mouth out off the way. It is widely accepted that shoving a foot down a mouth is a bad idea.

Drove Sourav's car today. I'm having problems with turning. Took a corner near the mall on two wheels and I'm pretty sure a nice old lady flipped me the bird. I will try to avoid stepping on the gas while I am turning.

Sourav thinks a Thursday deadline is extremely optimistic.
I agree.

I need a good book. I do wish that GRRM would get off his ass and finish "A Feast of Crows" before I graduate.

Farscape is returning. Just a miniseries but that is better than nothing.

To Bandar and the Bhide, I hope you were pleased at the data transmission, the information exchange. And Bandar, do try to come up with a better compliment than your usual "Asian Paints" statement.

I have rambled on again. I intended to talk about the drive and leave, but I like it here. So I'll stay for a bit longer. Bear with me gentle reader.

Chatted with my apartment-mates-to-be. I look forward to keeping my door closed for most of the next semester. My own room. After a year and a half of sharing a room, I'm getting my own room. I think I shall do a little jig. Also I think I can get the kiddies to help me clean the apartment, when moving out time comes around.

Raghu leaves for India tomorrow. I am so jealous. Nitin leaves on the thirteenth. That's the definite date. Just like the second was definite. And the ninth.
I think my current bout of homesickness is because they are going to India.

I need to leave State College again. I need to leave State College now.
I need to get to Norfolk. (I have that really depraved grin on my face right now).

Well it's official. The entire Smith research group has been crippled. Brian, Meltem and I all have fucked up fingers. Too much typing. But at least it is tendonitis and not Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Or as Brian put it, "hand syphilis and not hand herpes".

Um...The analogy is that the former is curable, the latter is not.

On a bright note. The first draft of the book review is done. I gotta rewrite it with changes now.

The phone is still in my shopping cart. I just need to click the buy button.

I just noticed that quite a few sentences in this post start with the words "I need". Um...a comedic gem would typically follow that sentence, but I think I will let it go this time.

Good news. Played three excellent UT2004 games today. Won thrice in a row. With a spread of 4, 5 and 4. And I got a "Monster Kill"! A "Monster Kill" people! I have only ever got that against the bots. And managed two adrenaline rushes in each game.

Um...my geek quotient went up by a factor of three. No. Three point five.

The summer is flying by. I just realized that in a best-case scenario, I have only six months left in State College. I do not want to think about the worst-case scenario. I want to move to a big city. A place with crime, noise and pollution.

I'm watching Coupling on the Beeb. Apparently the Brits have no problem saying fuck on their sitcoms.

I begin to bore myself. I leave.
Exit stage right, trying not to trip over the cat.

Where the coherent account follows...

I do not normally get tipsy with a drink and a half. However, having just an hour of sleep in the last twenty four hours affected me strangely. And so I was tipsy. I wish to reiterate for the record that my capacity is not as pathetic as it seems. For the record it is two drinks and five shots. Well, that's as far as I have gone. It's quite possible that I havent found my boundaries yet.

I doubt that I will ever overreact to such an extent again that I will need to find my boundaries.

Um...I hope my parents do not read my blog.

Have finally shifted to contacts. Reasonably happy with this pair. Now if only my hair would grow back, recover from the disasterous Supercuts misadventure. Wearing a cap everyday is getting to be painful.

I woke up at 1 pm. In bed, not the bathtub.That story some other time. Anyway, I had changed my T-shirt before hitting the sack and I have no recollection of this event. Holes in my memory aren't good.

A lot of photographs were taken tonight.I should probably elaborate on that sentence because it sounds positively pornographic. But I won't. I will leave it to your mind, gentle reader, to twist it as you may see fit.

I'm sleepy.

I will be the only person left in the apartment in a few days. Cannot wait for it. Blessed solitude.

Where I am a tad tipsy

An experiment. A marguerita and a sex on the beach. I am tipsy. And I blog.

Anchorman, funny.

How much tequila do they add to that drink anyway?
Thats it.
A more coherent account might follow,

Where I wax nostalgic...

I finally watched F911. Excellent movie. Lots of food for thought.

I tried to buy my cell phone, but was not allowed to. Apparently you need a driver's licence to get a phone. That is because we drive the phones on the roads here. They are an energy efficient method of transportation.

Introspection.
Do I try to maintain an emotional distance from people? Unfortunately I think I do. I have always been an intensely private person, and that has increased in the year and a half I have been in this country.

To Kaushik, thank me for the entertainment. And anytime you want me to wax lyrical, I will be more than happy to oblige.

For some reason, I miss Bangalore more than usual this morning. Mathru and Vishnu, Shanti Sagar and Amoeba(was that the place?), Kebab corner, MG and Brigade Road, Madiwala Circle and Koramangala, Aangan and strangely enough TGIF.

I'm getting older. Not wiser. Just older. At the ripe old age of 25, I look back and I see a large moving object bearing down on me. (Yeah right! Like I'm going to open up now)

According to the plan, I'll get my license on Thursday, but I am not holding my breath. But driving is fun. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

A belated tribute to the Godfather,
"Don Corleone: I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

I have a weakness for petite brunettes. I do not know why that is so, but that is the way it is. And you gentle reader, should know who I am referring to.

Notice the tight structure and the coherent thematic thread in this Blog.

I still miss Bangalore.

Basweshwarnagar, Malleshwaram, Vijaynagar, Koramangala now, Madiwala then, EC further back.

I have had an hour of sleep. And I have a long day ahead of me.

This is the Weekend of the Central PA Festival of the Arts. Should be good fun. And should get to see Cold Mountain.

"Afternoon Delight" from the "Anchorman" is hilarious.

I am beginning to dislike my breakfast cereal. Apparently a year and a half is the limit of my tolerance. Unfortunately I still have a couple of boxes left. I may feed it to the pigeons in the balcony. They are hardy creatures, they will survive. They might survive. Ah well, the world has too many pigeons anyway.

Where I discuss Cakes, Theories, F1 and... jerking off?

Well the long weekend has passed.

I slept.

I watched the fireworks.

I baked.

Yep, I baked a cake.

And then I baked another.

Back to the fireworks. A very decent show. Except that it rained and rained and rained. And then for variety it rained some more.

Now to the unemployed one's theory(Chilli is the unemployed one). I have a small addendum to the theory. Why is it that the theory seems as pointless at 10:15 as it does at 10:30? In fact, why is it that the theory seems pointless, pretty much around the clock?
Ah, lifes great mysteries.

However do join Chilli's "F1 Sucks" orkut group. My email dissing F1 is available on request. Inder's blog advises everyone who watches F1 to take up something more productive. Like masturbation.

Masturbation is a lot like F1. Except that it isn't like F1 at all.

Where the trouble continues...

Ditto on the previous post.

Also Spiderman 2 is pretty decent.